Film Reviews - Watchmen

*possible spoiler alert*

WATCHMEN

12am showing in order to see it first?...I'm so there!

Your first question will be, "Did she read the novel?"
Answer: No. Now that we've got that settled, I give you my P.O.V.

You know that pre-movie "turn off your cell phone & no texting" sign that flashes on the screen?...Well, to that JACK-HOLE who was in my theatre, one row behind me & 4 seats to my left: Dublin, CA Hacienda Crossings, Theatre #20...you must have MISSED that obvious message since you were so friggin busy on the phone & texting! ASS! Last thing I need to hear in the middle of a sex scene is your stupid phone saying, "message sent". Again, I say it: ASS!

Okay...I've vented & I feel better now.

**Beware of spoilers**

The movie trailers had me wanting for the main event of the much coveted midnight release. It was impressive showing of graphic delight, however the movie was (after so MUCH hype) mostly just LONG & BORING!!!! Yes, there I said it. It really sucks for me to say that too. Especially because there's an awesome preview & movie poster of the sexy lighting-the-cigar-with-a-flame-thrower bit by Jeffrey Dean Morgan. (No, it's NOT Robert Downey Jr., but it's a really easy to confuse the two).

I was bored by over-narration, over-CGI, over-dramatic, under-acted, over-the-top...ugh! Where do I begin? Every time I thought the movie could be ending at this pivotal moment, it kept going...and going...and going. It was a helluva long movie to be bored at! The fight scenes were bass-filled, to where my seat vibrated...that became a little less boring. Hmmmm....

The effects were done to death and the monotone narration made me feel like the movie was dead. And it just kept dragging from there. It was missing the kick-in-the-head that I was expecting. I was looking for that edge-of-my-seat anticipation, but was stuck leaning on the arm rest with my arms folded in disappointment.

*sigh*

Know that there is a LOT of naked bootie in this movie…and not of the female persuasion! The costumes were fun. The numerous story lines were hard to follow. The sex scenes were convincingly good and sexy (not like in the crappy Underworld Evolution where it looked like the guy was screwing her belly button!). The character relationships were flimsy and hollow. I hated the fact that I never really cared enough for any character, to where their death actually bothered me.

One of the best things I can say for this movie is that is had an AWESOME soundtrack! One of the worst things I can say is that it did the neat little 5 minute wrap up, where things were just TOO perfect & completely absurd in an "aw shucks" kinda way. Not even Hallmark would have condoned that cutsie family-feel ending that would make anyone dry heave.